Thursday, January 16, 2014

What I've learned so far (Part I)

Take more videos.
At least a few seconds every few months or so.
I've always been lazy and preferred pictures, but this morning the four of us got on the bed together and watched some "old" videos and I think my heart grew x 100. We will never get those moments back - and that's ok for a lot of reasons - but it really puts everything in perspective when you retrace your steps and see how far you've come. Side note: four years honestly seem like an eternity.

My house is never (ever ever ever) going to be clean ever ever again.
The best we can do is invite people over -- especially people that don't know us that well -- to clear our schedules enough to give the place an overhaul. But that's OK. I repeat: that's OK. It has to be, really, so I just need to accept it and keep my complaining about it to a minimum. Yar, sure, I'll get right on that.

The girls hear and see - and will imitate - everything I say and do.
Every. Little. Thing. The best is when, a few hours after I say or do it, I see them acting it out. The least scary is when they pretend to be me going to work, while the worst is when they yell at their dolls using the same obnoxious tone and words I recognize from my own big mouth. By now, Andrea and I can tell which of us is the bad influence, depending on what language they use.

Children always get sick late Friday night.
Just when your pediatrician has closed up for the weekend.

Nothing you ever plan is going to go the way you imagine it will.
This is, by far, the cruelest thing to get used to. In my pre-parenthood life, sure, there was disappointment and I had to learn to be flexible. But now...now, nothing goes as I expect it to: a trip to the supermarket, visiting a new place, Skyping with my parents, Thanksgiving. And if you don't learn to roll with the punches and truly make whatever work, you are going to hate your life. Forever and ever, the end.

I have lost all control.
This is related to the above. When the girls are around, I decide pretty much zero anymore, from when and what we eat, to how and where we sleep, to what clothes they (and I even) wear, from how long it will take to leave the house to how long I can talk on the phone to what music we listen to in the car...you see what I mean. There is not one aspect of my life that I and I alone decide anymore. Nope, can't think of one. And I, of course, was one of those pre-children moms swore I would never be this way. HA. HA. HA. To quote my mother: "When I die, I want to come back as my own children."

Isolation is bad.
It might feel like a good idea to have a stay-at-home pajama Saturday with the whole family, but do yourself a favor, get dressed and get the hell out of there. Trust me.

It's important to be your old self again.
I once heard advice to new mothers to turn up the music and dance in front of a mirror, to remind yourself that you're still in there. Everyone should do that.

Shopping - including window shopping - for myself will probably have to wait another 10-15 years.
My wardrobe is so sad, thank the lord for Old Navy online.

My life without my family is really damn boring.
Yeah, I NEED and BEG and PLEAD for time alone. But it never fails that, after a couple hours, I'm ready to have them back. (And then, when they get back, it takes precisely 3 minutes and 10 seconds before I'm begging for "me" time again).

They really do grow right before your eyes.
So many times, they've woken up from a nap or in the morning and they are literally, noticeably bigger. I am positive that it is the most bittersweet feeling that ever existed.

Every stage is the best, every stage sucks.
Funny story. When Sofia was still a wee babe, I went to a store to look into highchairs, and the saleslady scolded me for trying to speed up time so quickly (she obviously wasn't working on commission). She was right, though. I was so eager to get out of the early months that I was working on fast-forwarding my way through it. What I didn't know was that, as hard as it was to deal with nursing and sleeping back then, the first toddler months were going to be just as harrowing - in an entirely different way. Just as I had no idea that those amazing newborn cuddles would then be replaced by the mind-boggling first words stage.
It's all good, it's all hard, it's all magical. All of it. And every single fiber of my being is simultaneously relieved and nostalgic that we're stopping at two.