In her Quinceañere era!

 

My baby peanut is *15*!!?!

Dearest Sofia,

15 seems like an enormous number compared to all the others so far...but it makes sense, because every day I see how you are growing and morphing into a young woman. Smart, funny, self-confident, open-minded, sassy, diligent, sensitive, compassionate, bold, trustworthy, perservering, empathetic. You are everything and more than I ever hoped you would be, and watching you grow into yourself (or, more accurately, continuing to stay true to yourself) is one of the greatest joys of my life.

A favorite of mine is knocking on your door and you inviting me in to sit on your bed and chit-chat for a bit. I know that there are moments you need to follow your own path (read: steer very clear of your old ma), and that is totally normal and physiological, but I also can feel the bond between us, how strong it is, how much we enjoy spending time together, how we trust each other. You have never, not once, given me a reason not to trust your instincts, and that brings me not only great relief but so much pride. I can see how much you value yourself, and that is really all a mom wants.

And while we do have our tense moments and fight, I never have any doubt that we will find our way back (and usually pretty quickly), and that our love is stronger than any stupid argument. 

Some of your current favorites:
Sushi, spending time with your friends and family, swimming and your swim team friends, hanging out with your sister when she's not driving you nuts, watching Friends and New Girl and Outer Banks together, funny instagram reels, experimenting in the kitchen, rollercoasters and theme parks, your cousins, sleeping, hanging out in your room, going out to dinner, being a CIT last summer, playing board games together, all our family traditions.

Some of your current dislikes:
Having to wake up early, when you don't like what I cook, when papà or I are angry with you, when your sister is driving you crazy, when Samina or I dance or sing in public, injustice of any kind, going to doctors, cruelty and cruel people and also self-absorbed people, other people arguing, not knowing things that you want to know, Latin.

Words can't really express what it feels like to watch you, day in and day out, be so true to yourself and who you are. I always hoped that you would never lose that trust in yourself and, though of course you have those normal teenage moments of not loving everything about yourself, your self-reliance and self-respect are some of my favorite things about you, right up there with how curious you are about the world and other people.

Thank you for being such a delightful person, Sofia. You make the world a better place just by being in it, by shining your light and loving your people with such intensity and fierceness. I am so lucky to know you, let alone be your mom and have this ringside seat of what will surely continue to be your stunning, inspiring, magical life.

We love you so much, Sofi. Keep your head up high and enjoy the ride. You're doing great 💓

Love, 

Mommy (and Papà and Sami)

Sami turns 12!

To my sweet Pookie,

As your baby days become a distant memory, I find myself soaking in the "lasts" more and more lately. You've already long moved on from Barbies and LOL dolls, playing shop or watching How to Train Your Dragon (dangit, now I'm going to have to watch it alone). I brace myself because I know what comes next: the "mom, you're sooooo annoying" phase. I actually feel it here already (mainly because, well, you tell me all the time that I'm annoying!), but luckily I also can still convince you to give your old ma a cuddle at the end of the day.

You are a remarkable human being, Samina. You are SO FUNNY, so sharp and quick-witted, sassy, such a good analyzer of situations, a great problem-solver. You are responsible and diligent, kind and generous, sweet (when you want to be), careful, thoughtful. Actually, I really *love* the adjective one of your teachers used to describe you last week: solid. You are solid. A solid friend, a solid student, a solid daughter and sister. People can rely on you, and - and this is so important and perhaps my favorite part of the idea of you being "solid" - they can rely on the fact that your words match your actions. You do not waste your time in BS.

Some of your current favorites:
Your phone, skin care and makeup, watching videos on youtube, your friends, spending time with your extended family (especially your cousins, on both sides), gelato and candy, going to America, going to Sun, bowling and arcades, shopping, vacations from school, drawing and being artistic (you've gotten really good at lettering), swimming, Dr. Pepper, family shore week and Woodloch, new shoes and accessories, new pens and highlighters, getting cheap crap at Tiger, having guests over, watching tv, jumping on the trampoline, gymnastics in NJ during the summer, puns.

Some of your current dislikes:
Being told what to do, getting in trouble, when your sister bosses you around, cleaning up, not getting your way, being criticized, being bored, school, homework, wearing your retainer, somehow leading the group project...again, when people accuse you of lying, saying goodbye to the people you love, when you feel somone has done you wrong, being treated like "the little sister", fighting, talking about your feelings.

Being your mom has brought me and continues to bring me such joy, daily, without fail. Obviously parenting is never without its challenges, but being with you is always a laugh, and I learn something about myself pretty much every day.

Thank you for letting me be part of your life, for gifting me with this endless honor of being your Mommy. I love you, Pookie Bear/Sami/baby girl, and I know the future holds such beauty and wonder and magic for you - and I'm just thankful that I get to come along for the ride.

Happy 12th, Sunshine. Mommy loves you, always 💓

The last of my 40s

#ThisIs49

What I've learned in my 40s is that life will stun you in the most beautiful and excrutiating ways, no feelings are ever permanent, and that Love truly is all that matters at the end of the day.

Happy birthday to me 💓

 

How is Sofia 14??

 Dearest Sofi,

Welp, here we are at 14! (somehow I missed a year and never posted for 13 - SORRY!!!)

Sometimes I catch a glimpse of you in your room or while you're concentrating on doing something important and I feel breathless...you are so poised, so beautiful, so grown and yet still my little Peanut. I love everything about you, even your stubborn head and fiery disposition which sometimes get us into trouble.

Your current favorites:

Sushi, being with your friends, finding your own style, experimenting with skin care and makeup, hanging out with your sister when you're actually getting along, having good friends, Gilmore Girls, Schitt's Creek with the family, being with family and friends who are family, hanging with your cousins, rollercoasters, hanging out in your room, Boba, experimenting in the kitchen, going out to restaurants, sitting shotgun in the car, music, swimming and your swim team group, sleeping in, being silly, cuddles.

Your current hates:

Having to wake up early, when I cook boring food, when papà or I are angry with you, when your sister is being annoying, when I dance in public, injustice of any kind, scary movies, when I am being too nosy, when your sister gets involved in our discussions (unless she's taking your side haha), going to doctors, feeling judged, cruelty and cruel people.

                                 

You are open-minded, kind, loyal, generous, curious, responsible, intelligent, joyful, empathetic, strong, self-aware, thoughtful, motivated, honest. You are 100% yourself - I don't think I've ever seen you pretend to be someone you're not. And watching you be fully yourself brings me such joy and relief and delight! You are a true force of nature, my baby girl. I hope you always remember that.

May this 14th year bring you new, amazing, sweet adventures and friendships and joy. This next year is sure to be very challenging (first year of high school, here she comes!) but there is no doubt in my mind that you are fully capable of handling it - and I promise that we will be there, through all of it, to help you where you need it, to celebrate you, to support and love you.

Happy birthday, sweet Peanut! You are so loved.

Love,

Mommy (and Papi and Sami)