Seventeen!

 Dearest Sofia,

This year, I'm not the only one exclaiming "HOW??!" at the thought of you already turning SEVENTEEN!! (HOW?????!) You also are blown away, and a little stressed out, at how quickly it all goes. 

Seventeen. I still can look at pictures of the day you were born and smell your new-baby smell, as if it had just happened. 

I am so moved by the person you have always been and who you are becoming more of daily. When I picked an adjective for you at your family birthday party, I picked compassionate. Compassionate: feeling or showing deep sympathy and concern for the suffering or misfortune of others, coupled with a strong desire to alleviate that pain. It describes someone who is kind, merciful, and understanding,

You are compassionate, and also so many other things: funny, self-aware, kind, interesting, smart, beautiful, generous, honest, responsible, adaptable, resilient. We are still in the thick of your teenage years - so, on any given day, we can begin with gushy love, followed immediately by a snarky mood swing, and back again 3 seconds later with a hearty laugh that makes us both cry from giggling so hard. But (most of the time) I can manage to survive it all without taking it too personally, and I admittedly many times dish it out as much as I take it, so we're even. I don't mind too much, because I see you searching constantly for yourself within all that: figuring out your (and my) limits, getting an idea of what is you and what is me, what you want to hang onto that you see in me and what you would like to do differently...every single day, I see you striving to become more yourself, and all I can do is watch with awe at how wonderfully you are achieving just that.

Your current loves:
Going out with your friends, getting dressed up, but also spending the entire day in pajamas, eating healthy but not going crazy about it, watching some shows as a family at night (currently into Friday Night Lights but also The Pitt and The Rookie), eating your favorite foods and trying new cuisines, chit-chatting when you're in the mood, one-on-one shopping with me when you're in the mood, spending time with your extended family, swimming and your swim team friends and improving you swimming times, hanging out with your sister when she's not driving you nuts, laughing, sleeping/sleeping late, listening to music, Azzurra, observing collective joy, seeing the people you love happy.

Your current hates:
Injustice, unfair politics, having to wake up early, when your sister teases you or treats you badly, hypocrisy, when papà or I are mad at you, serial killers, cruelty and violence, having to study but also feeling unprepared for an exam, snobs, being made to feel inadequate, social norms that feel unjust, racism or sexism or any -ism, not being able to find a decent snack in the house, bugs in your room, doctor's visits, going too long without getting some exercise, feeling stuck, seeing anyone suffer.

Sofia, you are a wonder to me, always have been. Whether you've got that sly grin of yours or you're making a sarcastic joke, or you're telling me about the lastest gossip or worries in your head, or you're spitballing ideas about what your future looks like, or you're giving me a snarky answer to an objectively dumb question on my part...it's all so beautiful to me, even the moments that drive me nuts. *You* are beautiful to me, always, and I love seeing how your brain works and how you have matured so much in the past 17 years, but also have very much stayed the same little creature I held for the first time and thought "of *course*, this is what you look like", as if we'd known each other for multiple lifetimes already. Soulmates, connected, kindred spirits.

I hope this next year brings you endless joy, adventures, new friends and experiences, contentment, and satisfaction - but, whatever it brings - good or bad, challenging or joyful - I (we) will be right here for it, right by your side and in your corner.

We love you Sofi. Happy 17th 💓

I lollo,

Mommy

Middle school exams

Samina's middle school state exams started last week and finish tomorrow morning after she does her final presentation in front of a commission of all her teachers. Our house has currently been taken over by all the stuff for her project: the dining room table is hidden underneath the world map she hand drew to show the passage my great-grandmother made from Minsk to NYC in the early 1900s. Our floor is covered with all the materials to make her art piece: a well, entitled "Vedersi" ("Seeing Oneself"), set on a broken mirror, which will also house some small white stones, which she will place once we get to the school tomorrow morning. The piano currently holds the music for "Rhapsody in Blue" by Gershwin, which she will play for the music part of the exam. Then there's her computer and notes, which she has 99.9999% memorized.

We have been eating standing up at our kitchen island for the past week and a half.

The heat of June, the slightly later wake up times since school is over, the chaos of organizing life around this exam, the arrival of the end-of-year report cards...this is the marrow. This is the soul of it all, the anxiety-ridden part, the uncomfortable waiting that also holds so many sparks of joy, probably because we are all that much more vulnerable to any sentiment right now. We are open to it all, and so we feel it all, stronger and with more nostalgia.

After this presentation - which, by the way, is truly gorgeous - I will officially have 2 high schoolers. 

I couldn't be more proud of both of my girls, for the continued hard work and dedication they followed through on this year. For the sweat and tears, but also for the humility and stumbling, matched by the perfect amount of self-assurance and poise. 

School in Italy is no joke, but from about 7th grade on, the students are given an unspoken choice: they can just get through it, or they can really make something of it. This past year, I have watched two young women make the choice over and over again to take learning, and themselves, seriously, and decide not to back down from the challenge.

Here's to the end of the school year, to the end of a school cycle, and to the end of an era. My heart is full of gratitude for these two amazing daughters who work so hard every day to become the very best versions of themselves.

Auguri Andrea!

Happy birthday to the one who always shows up, always, for everyone 💓💓

Buon compleanno a chi c'è, sempre, per tutti 💓💓

 

Sami turns 14

Dearest Pookie,

Here you are, in the thick of your teenager/teenajerk years, and as much as I can't wait until the eye rolls and sass finally cease, overall I am just so very proud of you, of how you move through the world. Your generosity, your humor, your dedication, your sense of responsibility to be a good person. I love every aspect of you - the good and the slightly more frustrating make you exactly who you are, and I just think you are the cat's pajamas.

Current favorites:

Hanging out with your friends and endless hours of videochats with them, doing well in school, traveling, going shopping, fun snacks, watching our tv shows together on the couch (currents: The Pitt, The Rookie and Ted Lasso), doing your hair and eyelashes, hanging out with your sister when she's not driving you crazy, laughing with me and papà when we're not driving you crazy, new phone covers, fake nails, fun school supplies, gelato, afternoons in the center with your friends.

Current favorite at-home meals: fajitas, cheeseburgers

Current best friends: Sofia V., Marialuisa, Amira, Federico, Erik, Diego, Tommaso

Current favorite restaurant: Sun

Current favorite color: pastel pink  

Current dislikes:

People treating you like a baby, your teachers telling you to chill out about your grades, anyone being condescending or patronizing, being asked to clean up, your sister being bossy, when I make meals you don't like (fish for example), not having down time, anything "cringe" - especially in public - going to the doctor and being sick, anyone fighting.

Sami, you are one of my favorite people on the planet and I am just so thankful that we have such a good relationship - despite these teenajerk times. I have learned so much from you these past 14 years. The joy you have brought to our lives since your arrival - that special twinkle in your eye and your dimples that you hate so much but that I love to pieces. You roll your eyes (surprise surprise) when I say it, but you are beautiful, inside and out, and I couldn't be prouder of the young woman you are becoming.

We love you and we are here with you by your side, always.

Love 💓
Mommy (and Papà and Sofi)

Sundays are for...

Listening to podcasts and audiobooks while folding laundry

Experimenting in the kitchen

Catching up on our 1,000th cycle through Gilmore Girls

Painting my nails a seasonal color

Foodshopping for this week's meal plan

Aimlessly staring out the window while sipping my 2nd cup of coffee

Playing Wordscapes on my phone

Snuggling on the couch

Lighting my favorite candles

Squeaky, relentless, immense gratitude

Sweet Sixteen!

My baby peanut is *16*!!! 💙

Dearest Sofi,

It's so cliche to say it but honestly, HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??!!

How did we get from here...

To here already?...

It's hard for me to express how much I enjoy being your mom. Sure, there are hard days, and sometimes we fight and drive each other crazy and need a break from one another. But those moments never last very long, and we *always* find a way back to one another quickly, with a hug and a laugh. 

Seeing you grow into yourself, your own person, is the most gorgeous thing I have honestly ever witnessed. In most of these posts, I repeat that my hope for you and your sister is that you will never forget who you are and will be the best versions of yourself that you can be. And that is precisely what I see happening -- and I couldn't be more proud, relieved, joyful, excited for you.

Some of your current favorites:
Trying out new cuisines - at the moment Mexican (Mexi-Cali) tops your list but sushi's always a favorite too, spending time with your friends and family, swimming and your swim team friends, hanging out with your sister when she's not driving you nuts, laughing, watching The Rookie or S.W.A.T. or Castle all together as a family, improving your times at swimming, funny instagram reels, experimenting in the kitchen, finding new fun snacks, your cousins, dancing and listening to music, sleeping, hanging out in your room, one-on-one time with just mommy or papà, shopping for new clothes, peace (yours, ours, the world's).

Some of your current dislikes:
Having to wake up early, when you don't like what we're having for lunch/dinner, when papà or I are angry with you, when your sister is driving you crazy, injustice of any kind, hearing details about violence, cruelty and cruel people and snobs, people arguing, not knowing things that you want to know, having a lot of homework, being put in a "box" by people thinking they can define you.

Sofia, you are just one of the best people I have ever met: you are honest, you wear your heart on your sleeve, you are kind and generous and funny and silly and so smart and empathetic and you have the most beautiful way of seeing the irony in the world and in yourself. I absolutely love spending time together - chit-chatting, hanging out, laughing, sharing reels, eating snacks (yes I will always help you find one), and just discussing pretty much any topic. I love how you know you can come to me with any question, any problem, any insecurity.

I can't believe how lucky I am to be your mom and to have borne witness to these past 16+ years. Enjoy this next one, Peanut. And know that me, Papà and Sami are *always* here, that we will *always* see you and know you and appreciate you. No matter what.

Love and hugs and kisses,

Mommy

Samina's 13!

My dearest Pookie,

As I'm writing this, I'm listening to a song that always reminds me of you.

Wildflowers, by Tom Petty:

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong somewhere close to me
Far away from your trouble and worry
You belong somewhere you feel free

My baby girl is turning 13!

Having two teenagers in the house is so much more joyful and fun and gratifying than I ever imagined it would be, and that is thanks in part to your hilarious, generous, perceptive nature. 

Not only are you a dedicated, hard-working, self-motivated student, but you are a loyal sister, trustworthy friend and just truly a delight to be around. My biggest hope for you and your sister has always been that you would stay true to yourselves and - besides you unfortunately (and hopefully temporarily) abandoning your flamboyant fashion choices - you have done just that. You know exactly who you are, and I admire you so much for it.

Some of your current favorites:
Watching Castle/S.W.A.T./The Rookie on the couch all together, your phone and tablet, skin care and makeup, shopping (especially trips together to Tigotà and Tiger), spending time with your family, packing your bags and travelling, sushi, snuggles, not having to do homework, Dr. Pepper, candy, learning Tik Tok dances on YouTube, getting good grades, board games, family traditions - especially Christmas and birthdays, being free.

Some of your current dislikes:

Having a lot of homework, not feeling like you're ready enough for a test, group projects where your team members are not very motivated, when your sister bosses you around, having to clean up, cutting your hair, talking about your feelings, when someone doesn't show you respect or treats you like a baby, throwing things away, getting in trouble, anyone fighting or raising their voices, not getting enough down time to rest, eating fish, getting lectured.

Your generosity of spirit, your laugh, your drive to be a good person, your quick wit and hysterical take on the world around you...being around you is pure sunshine, even when you are in a bad mood or feeling particularly teen-angsty. I love having you as my little buddy and I know you will only continue to grow into an even truer version of yourself as the years go by - and I can't wait to see what extraordinary things the future will bring for you.

I am proud of you beyond words and am filled with gratitude that I get this front row seat. We love you, Pookie bear, no matter what - never ever forget it.

Welcome to the Teenajerk (ⓒSamina) years!!!