Seventeen!

 Dearest Sofia,

This year, I'm not the only one exclaiming "HOW??!" at the thought of you already turning SEVENTEEN!! (HOW?????!) You also are blown away, and a little stressed out, at how quickly it all goes. 

Seventeen. I still can look at pictures of the day you were born and smell your new-baby smell, as if it had just happened. 

I am so moved by the person you have always been and who you are becoming more of daily. When I picked an adjective for you at your family birthday party, I picked compassionate. Compassionate: feeling or showing deep sympathy and concern for the suffering or misfortune of others, coupled with a strong desire to alleviate that pain. It describes someone who is kind, merciful, and understanding,

You are compassionate, and also so many other things: funny, self-aware, smart, interesting, silly, beautiful, generous, honest, responsible, adaptable, resilient. We are still in the thick of your teenage years - so, on any given day, we can begin with gushy love, followed immediately by a snarky mood swing, and back again 3 seconds later with a hearty laugh that makes us both cry from giggling so hard. But (most of the time) I can manage to survive it all without taking it too personally, and I admittedly many times dish it out as much as I take it, so we're even. I don't mind too much, because I see you searching constantly for yourself within all that: figuring out your (and my) limits, getting an idea of what is you and what is me, what you want to hang onto that you see in me and what you would like to do differently...every single day, I see you striving to become more yourself, and all I can do is watch with awe at how wonderfully you are achieving just that.

Your current loves:
Going out with your friends, getting dressed up, but also spending the entire day in pajamas, eating healthy but not going crazy about it, watching some shows as a family at night (currently into Friday Night Lights but also The Pitt and The Rookie), eating your favorite foods and trying new cuisines, chit-chatting when you're in the mood, one-on-one shopping with me when you're in the mood, spending time with your extended family, swimming and your swim team friends and improving you swimming times, hanging out with your sister when she's not driving you nuts, laughing, sleeping/sleeping late, listening to music, Azzurra, observing collective joy, seeing the people you love happy.

Your current hates:
Injustice, unfair politics, having to wake up early, when your sister teases you or treats you badly, hypocrisy, when papà or I are mad at you, serial killers, cruelty and violence, having to study but also feeling unprepared for an exam, snobs, being made to feel inadequate, social norms that feel unjust, racism or sexism or any -ism, not being able to find a decent snack in the house, bugs in your room, doctor's visits, going too long without getting some exercise, feeling stuck, seeing anyone suffer.

Sofia, you are a wonder to me, always have been. Whether you've got that sly grin of yours or you're making a sarcastic joke, or you're telling me about the lastest gossip or worries in your head, or you're spitballing ideas about what your future looks like, or you're giving me a snarky answer to an objectively dumb question on my part...it's all so beautiful to me, even the moments that drive me nuts. *You* are beautiful to me, always, and I love seeing how your brain works and how you have matured so much in the past 17 years, but also have very much stayed the same little creature I held for the first time and thought "of *course*, this is what you look like", as if we'd known each other for multiple lifetimes already. Soulmates, connected, kindred spirits.

I hope this next year brings you endless joy, adventures, new friends and experiences, contentment, and satisfaction - but, whatever it brings - good or bad, challenging or joyful - I (we) will be right here for it, right by your side and in your corner.

We love you Sofi. Happy 17th 💓

I lollo,

Mommy

Middle school exams

Samina's middle school state exams started last week and finish tomorrow morning after she does her final presentation in front of a commission of all her teachers. Our house has currently been taken over by all the stuff for her project: the dining room table is hidden underneath the world map she hand drew to show the passage my great-grandmother made from Minsk to NYC in the early 1900s. Our floor is covered with all the materials to make her art piece: a well, entitled "Vedersi" ("Seeing Oneself"), set on a broken mirror, which will also house some small white stones, which she will place once we get to the school tomorrow morning. The piano currently holds the music for "Rhapsody in Blue" by Gershwin, which she will play for the music part of the exam. Then there's her computer and notes, which she has 99.9999% memorized.

We have been eating standing up at our kitchen island for the past week and a half.

The heat of June, the slightly later wake up times since school is over, the chaos of organizing life around this exam, the arrival of the end-of-year report cards...this is the marrow. This is the soul of it all, the anxiety-ridden part, the uncomfortable waiting that also holds so many sparks of joy, probably because we are all that much more vulnerable to any sentiment right now. We are open to it all, and so we feel it all, stronger and with more nostalgia.

After this presentation - which, by the way, is truly gorgeous - I will officially have 2 high schoolers. 

I couldn't be more proud of both of my girls, for the continued hard work and dedication they followed through on this year. For the sweat and tears, but also for the humility and stumbling, matched by the perfect amount of self-assurance and poise. 

School in Italy is no joke, but from about 7th grade on, the students are given an unspoken choice: they can just get through it, or they can really make something of it. This past year, I have watched two young women make the choice over and over again to take learning, and themselves, seriously, and decide not to back down from the challenge.

Here's to the end of the school year, to the end of a school cycle, and to the end of an era. My heart is full of gratitude for these two amazing daughters who work so hard every day to become the very best versions of themselves.

Edited to add and brag: Sami finished with 10 + lode, meaning she graduated with honors 💗

Auguri Andrea!

Happy birthday to the one who always shows up, always, for everyone 💓💓

Buon compleanno a chi c'è, sempre, per tutti 💓💓