Karma is My Friend.

I'm about to make a confession that will make the internet gods keel over laughing, as they plan their spiteful revenge at my hubris. I have a newborn who...wait for it...sleeps (I whispered it, that's why it's in small font).

Yes, ladies and gents, my little girl is a super sleeper*. Sometimes - and this is going to make other parents want to beat me with a pointy stick - she doesn't even want anyone around while she puts herself to sleep. I just put her down, preferably on her side so she can easily rest her thumb in her mouth, and leave the room and normally within 4 minutes she's fast asleep.

At night, the story's similar. 7:30 rolls around, my girl had better already be bathed and fed because she is ready for the sleep fairy. And it's not that she sleeps through the night fully - she normally wakes up to eat 2x a night, but she hardly even opens her eyes to do so, and falls right back into her happy stupor immediately after - possibly during.

Those 2+ years of non-sleeping with Child #1 have finally paid off. So much so that sometimes we risk leaving the house without Samina, or leaving her in the car because she's too damn quiet.

And this, little world, is our proof that karma is alive and well. So watch your back.

*fine, I'll be superstitious and put the damn disclaimer: I do realize it's early and we have all sorts of time for things like teething and sicknesses to throw us right off kilter. Thanks for reminding me, interwebs.

An Ode to Prolactin

Thanks to Prolactin, I find myself wanting to nibble these two faces on a daily basis.

In my breastfeeding post below, I mentioned Prolactin, the hormone that helps a woman's body in the production of milk. I mentioned how it is mainly produced at night: it is the reason why night-time breastfeeding is so important.

What I didn't talk about was the positive effect Prolactin has on nursing moms, namely this one (that'd be me). As I found detailed online:

Prolactin is called the "mothering hormone" because it "physiologically produces in the mother an intensification of her 'motherliness,' the pleasurable care of her child (Montagu, 1971).

In a nutshell: it makes me feel funky-good! The comment I've been getting most often from friends since Samina's birth is how unwaveringly calm I seem. Like nothing can get me down. And it's so weird, but they're right! For the first time in my entire life, I have this calm, warm glow around me at all times (ok, at almost all times...I do have 2 children...and a husband...hi, Andrea!). Most days, I honestly feel like I can and could and would - and do - take on anything. Dealing with our heavy stroller in 100+ degree heat, carrying Samina and a load of groceries up two flights of stairs at the same time, frantically trying to multi-task cooking dinner and folding laundry whilst playing "restaurant" with Sofia, that inevitable and unkind Italian bureaucracy (for the record: it does double when you double the members in your family), the arrival of any unwanted and unexpected extra bills to pay...I've become Superwoman. Or, should I say, SuperMom.


Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Prolactin and, therefore, Nature for having the foresight to give new mothers their own built-in happy pills. It does, however, disturb me to think of what I might turn back into once the nursing stops...hi Andrea!

Stay Tuned.

To Sofia on her 3rd birthday

Dear Principessa-Sweet Pea-Baby Girl-Peanut,

Tomorrow you turn 3.

Three long and short years on earth, with your Mommy and Papa' by your side. 

Three years, during which we've come to know who you are...a wonderful/exhausting mix of complex contradictions. Introverted in some moments and a chatty firecracker in others, empathetic and kind one minute and obstinate and fickle the next.

Yet, one thing has remained steady: getting to know your truest self, and standing beside you as you, too, learn who you are and how the world works, has been nothing less than an honor.

May this next year bring you only the most joyful new discoveries and friendships. And may you always feel - and never doubt - the warmth and love that your family feels for you.

With much love,

Mommy, Papa' and Samina

My Nursing Story

Probably the biggest difference between newborn life with Samina and newborn life with Sofia is the fact that I am successfully breastfeeding this time around.

It was my greatest goal going into this. In the hospital after Samina was born, the nurses and visitors and doctors all had a nice chuckle about how she was *always* attached to me, every time they came into my room, as I took the advice I'd been given to make sure my milk came in right away. I went into Experience #2 prepared for my nursing battle - I was determined not to end up the way we had with Sofia: pumping my milk for 9 whole grueling months, walking down that angst-ridden road of "EP" (Exclusively Pumping, as all the breastfeeding forums refer to it). 9 months of waking up at night not only to fill her bottle with a freezer stash of expressed milk and heat it up to feed her (Andrea's job), but to pump in order to take advantage of the milk-making hormone, Prolactin, which is produced by our bodies at ungodly hours of the night to ensure your body makes its maximum milk quota (my job).

Exclusively pumping is probably one of the most stressful prospects that a new parent can face. Andrea and I were exhausted, as we both needed to be up at night to take care of this whole milk thing. I wish I could find the picture I'd taken of the enormous white board on which we kept track of all her feedings and times and amounts I'd pumped. Leaving the house, being prepared with sterilized bottles and pump contraptions and cords...plus trying to time our outings with just when Sofia would want to eat, because a warmed up bottle of breast milk (aka "liquid gold") is only good for a certain amount of hours....

This time, I was prepared. Andrea and I spoke to our pediatrician and met with an expert lactation consultant who talked us through what we should expect and how to deal with the problems I'd encountered last time: engorgement, mastitis, severe nipple pain. We realized the number one cause in my case had been stress, caused by exhaustion and an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. We spoke with breastfeeding friends to get advice, I bought new nursing tops and psyched myself up for success. Andrea designed a "side bed" and had our trusted carpenter build it for us, so night-time would mean a seamless transition from sleep to nursing and back to sleep again.

And, it worked. Samina is an A-class nurser. When she nurses at night, I only have to open one eye to pick her up out of her side bed, feed her and put her back to bed (or lull her back to sleep a bit first). Without ever feeling the need to put her on a scale, her pudgy little cheeks tell me she's gaining weight like a pro.

And me? I am tired but not rundown. I don't feel guilty asking Andrea to give me a break because we can actually take turns this time. I feel relief that I can leave the house at any time of the day with Samina and know I don't have to mentally and physically prepare for when she might have to eat next. And, mainly, I look down into Samina's gorgeous little eyes and feel proud that I faced the challenge and won. One of my greatest parenting triumphs thus far.

Things that make me feel Mommy-ish

Inspired by an email with my girlfriends...

THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A
(REAL LIVE, NOT JUST PLAYING HOUSE) MOMMY

currently, organizing Sofia's birthday party
putting on band-aids
buckling shoes
going to school meetings
seeing the group of us out of the corner of my eye in the video camera picture when we skype
calling the clan for dinner

So, those of you with kiddos, what makes *you* feel like a (real live, not just playing house) parent?

The 2nd time around.

It's amazing to me how truly *different* things are this time around. How much less foreign it all seems, how much more collected I am.

It's like what I told my mom the day after Samina was born, as we sat there and I held her and looked into her little face:  the first time around, with Sofia, I felt like I was looking down on the experience from above. I wasn't myself, wasn't for quite a long time. I felt - with such gut wrenching reality - the absoluteness of my new role as Mother, Protector. I felt it so physically that it often hurt to breathe for the first few months. The fear was tangible, and the permanence...the permanence made my head spin and my soul weary. As much as I loved, *loved* my new daughter, I could not get my head around the fact that I had switched positions and, in a single instant, my perspective had been shifted from Daughter to Mother.

This time? Quite the opposite happened. I am just as aware of that permanence, but I am not afraid of it. I am cherishing it. Every second of it (ok, the late night rocking back to sleep still has me crying, every so often). The bonding with Samina was instant - and seeing her with Sofia, my two girls...MY two girls...doesn't make my gut hurt, but makes things clear and bright and sunny in my heart.

I guess all I needed was a little time, a chance to find myself in the tumult and post-hurricane debris. Because, well, here I am, at it again, but with so much more happiness than I thought I would be able to carry.

New Life

My New Life, as a Mother of Two, in our new Family of Four.

First, our Two Beautiful Girls.

The first, the older...joy and light and loud noise. Overflowing with so many emotions. Her love and fascination with her little sister. The first time we brought the baby home, she literally screamed and ran around the house like a crazy person, the only way she could calm her excitement.

The second, the baby, peaceful and squishy and sweet. Calmed into quiet at the sound of her big sister's voice. The maker of funny faces and the calmer of souls.

Then, the Father. Brave and thoughtful, strong, reliable, selfless, careful.

And finally: the Mother. Improved. Loving. Loved. Content.