5 years ago today...

Art. 143 in Italian civil marriage law

Reciprocal rights and responsibilities of spouses.

By marriage the husband and wife acquire the same rights and assume the same obligations.

From the marriage comes the duty of mutual loyalty, moral and material assistance, cooperation in the interest of the family and cohabitation.

Both spouses are required, each in relation to their material and their ability to perform professional work or at home, to contribute to the needs of the family.

Art. 143.
Diritti e doveri reciproci dei coniugi.

Con il matrimonio il marito e la moglie acquistano gli stessi diritti e assumono i medesimi doveri.

Dal matrimonio deriva l'obbligo reciproco alla fedeltà, all'assistenza morale e materiale, alla collaborazione nell'interesse della famiglia e alla coabitazione.

Entrambi i coniugi sono tenuti, ciascuno in relazione alle proprie sostanze e alla propria capacità di lavoro professionale o casalingo, a contribuire ai bisogni della famiglia.

The Dark side to Parenthood, revealed (ooh!)

I've always been in control of myself in situations. I mean, it's always taken me a while to get into the groove in new surroundings, with new people. But give me a few months - max a year where more momentous change has happened - and I'm good to go.

So why is this parenting thing STILL so very hard?

Since nothing soothes the frustrated soul more than a list, I thought I'd make one.

REASON #1: That little person in front of you? Reason with it all you want. Explain it like it is, get as in depth and personal as you think is appropriate ("I really, really, really need you to listen to me right now!"), but he/she is not budging. The more upstanding a parent you want to be (so, no smacks on the behind, no lying or manipulating or bribing), the more your stick-in-the-mud child is going to make your life difficult. Did I just say "difficult"? I meant Impossible. Until your child hits...oh, I don't know...34?...he/she is living for himself alone, and that means whatever begging you do is going in one ear and out the other.

REASON #2: You are always going to feel envious of somebody else's parenting situation, for what you realize are totally inane things. See a family with an 8-year-old daughter, eating and *gasp* actually sitting down for an entire meal in a restaurant while you chase after your little pest, trying to convince him he's not allowed in the kitchen? Read someone else's facebook post about a 6-month-old baby who's learned to sleep through the night like a champ? You're going to start hating people - people you would otherwise adore, for the most ridiculous of reasons: they seem to know something you don't.

REASON #3: Sleep. Now that we put Sofia in her toddler bed (I'M A STUPID IDIOT), she has become a total nightmare. Do you have any idea of the sinking feeling of a little hand on your shoulder at 4am, waking you up and asking for juice in *just* that way, so you know you will not be getting back to sleep without a good scream-fest? It's painful. SO painful that even when she DOES decide to sleep, your husband wakes up with a jolt, dreaming that she was in the room hovering over him?! This is the stuff that horror films are made of (Side note to parents with kids younger than mine: KEEP THE CRIB BARS ON UNTIL THEY HIT PUBERTY).

REASON #4: It's stifling, when I let myself feel the weight of the responsibility we have here. She's been hating on her diaper for months now, but neither Andrea nor I have had the energy nor wherewithal to start working on potty training (god I hate that terminology). Because it's just too much. We've already taught her to eat (with utensils, at that!), to talk, to walk, to put on her own shoes, not to marker up the couch...isn't that enough? How much longer is this whole Parenting thing actually going to *last*? And what's the damn pay for it, because I've yet to see any salary receipts.

REASON #5: Today, as we were driving around trying to get Sofia to nap in the car (don't judge us), Andrea had the rear view mirror tilted down so he could have a good view of her from his driving position, and I got a good look at his face. He's exhausted. His beard is long and his eyes are tired and glassy. He's pale and he'd need at least 26 consecutive hours of sleep on a beach before he could feel normal again. I don't want this for us. I want things to be easier. I don't want us to fight from the frustration of a child who doesn't sleep. I want us to feel rested in the morning and recharged when Sofia goes to bed, I want to learn new things about each other and be happy for one another, and not simply give one another high fives for getting Sofia to sleep in her own bed. I want carefree back, just a little bit, just every once in a while.

So, you ask me, what the hell am I doing it for? Because, well, besides the fact that I'm not ready to sell her for moral reasons, I do know that things will get better. These are the Terrible 2's. She is determined and strong and stubborn -- all things that are frustrating now but will give her strength in the future. And so I will just concentrate on that and hope for the best. I will try to enjoy her smile and revel in moments like this afternoon when she grabbed my purse and her doll, ran into me in the hallway as she was walking around and said "Buongiorno, Mommy!!"

Til then, I think I'll go put those crib bars back on before they get back from the supermarket...

I'm really trying to stay optimistic here

We were supposed to already be on the road an hour ago, leaving for Rome to stay overnight before our flight tomorrow back to the U.S. However, as tends to (constantly) happen in Toddlerland, CHANGE OF PLANS!

Sofia was up all night coughing, which meant Mommy and Papa' were up all night as well (might we have made a mistake with the toddler bed? We're beginning to suspect so...). So, we have to wait another couple hours, then we'll go bring her to her ped. Fingers crossed we right whatever's wrong. Our ped is starting to get worried about the number of times Sofia's been sick this past year. Doesn't comfort concerned parents when ped says she's "worried."

To make matters worse, I'm feeling like crap, too (head cold). Which is going to make all this travel really delightful. And did I mention my husband's on the verge of a nervous breakdown caused by Too much to take care of before leaving + being up all night with Peanut?

Wait, the title was "trying to stay optimistic." I guess I'm not doing a really great job at it. I guess...I just...I remember how TOUGH our trans-Atlantic "vacation" was last year (that word "vacation" makes me break out in a cold sweat now that Sofia exists), and I'm afraid. Very afraid. Hopefully that means I'll be pleasantly surprised.

Pray for me, peeps.

Generosity

If you can't be a highway,
Be a path.
If you can't be the sun,
Be a star.
Always be the best of what you are.

Growing Pains

Perhaps the most surreal part of being a parent is that you can literally see your child grow in front of your eyes. There are days when she'll wake up from a nap or come home from daycare and I'll take one look at her and see a whole new being in front of me.

"Did she get taller???" I ask Andrea. Yep, he sees it too.

I guess people who garden know what I'm talking about. One day you plant a seed and a short, random while later, you walk outside and there's a teeny tiny tomato making its way into the world.

(I just compared my daughter to a tomato.)

Sofia is getting big. And I'm now enough in the parenting groove to realize that her desire to sit on my lap and watch birds while holding hands is not going to last. I'm aware of it, now more than ever, and I know it's only going to move faster from here on out. So, this is my public promise to take it all in as much as I can - without becoming obsessive about it. Just feel free to take your time, Peanut!

Birthday girl!

My baby girl is 2 today.

I've said that sentence over to myself every day this week. I guess I've been trying to take it in, see how it felt. And it felt....exactly the way I thought it would: sunny with a chance of showers.

My baby girl.

Each one of those words separately has taken so much getting used to:

My.

Baby.

Girl.

And now, she's a real little person. A walking, talking, sassy little jokester with the cutest crooked smile and the sweetest, sweetest grey-blue eyes. I'm so proud of the little girl she is so far, and so excited to see what she will continue to become.

Happy 2nd anniversary of your birth day, my Peanut.

Happy Birthday, Andrea!

My husband deserves a trophy. In fact, if there were secret agents running around, stealthily choosing who to give such a Husband of the Year trophy to, I would bet my bottom dollar on him winning. No brainer.

I don't spend enough time praising Andrea. Truth be told, many times, if you had a window into our lives, you would find yourself thinking "Poor Andrea!" He is (so, so, so) often the poor soul who bears the brunt of my many character flaws. And yet, the reality is, he inspires me every single day to be a better person, a better Jodi and, since Sofia's arrival, a better parent. So, being as today is the anniversary of his birth, no time like the present to publicly sing his praises>>>

Andrea is strong. He is - though I generally hate this metaphor - a rock. If there were a fire drill, he'd be the guy who'd have everyone organized (and singing Kumbaya and sharing glasses of wine) in lines in about 2 seconds.

Andrea is hysterical. He's goofy, and a refined appreciator of double entendre.

Andrea is really freaking smart. And anyone who's ever spoken to him for more than 4 seconds knows this.

Andrea is kind. The only things I've ever seen him hate are injustice and mosquitoes.

Andrea is really creative. Lots of people only know his highly scientific/mathematical side. But, lest we forget, he's a Gemini! He's got so many sides to him, he'd give Freud a true run for his money. He is also a really gifted artist, little known fact.

Andrea is an amazing father. And Sofia is so very lucky to have him - and not only because he plays with her and makes her laugh and cuddles her every chance he gets...but because he really, truly, enjoys getting to know her for who *she* is and not at all who he wants her to be (though, Sofia, if you're reading this, I know he'd really appreciate it if you'd take the whining down a notch, thankyouverymuch).

I really could go on for hours here. I am a lucky lady, and that's even without any comment on what a hottie he is!!

So, my dear, one-of-a-kind adventurer...I love you and wish you all the joy you deserve in this life.

AUGURI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!