Gifts

Sometimes I get annoyed with Sofia for wanting to play with me all the time. I have dishes to wash, dinner to prep, emails to answer (mumble mumble facebook posts to like). But just yesterday, the realization came to me as I begrudgingly took part, but then slowly forced myself to be fully present: by allowing me to play with her, she is giving me a unique look into herself. How she talks to other pretend presences, what she says to her dolls, the new words she's learned, the depths of her imagination. If I listen very carefully, she is offering me the most hidden, truest parts of herself. She is giving me a gift.

There are times when we are with other people and I get worn out keeping up our back-and-forth language game, making a stubborn attempt at only speaking to the girls in English. This requires a lot of translating, as it's important to me that neither the girls nor our Italian friends feel left out of the conversation. It's very tiring. The truth, though, is that when I turn to Sofia or Samina and speak to them in English in the middle of a very Italian conversation, it feels like we are a little team, sharing our own quiet inside story. We are working together to speak our bilingual sentences. They are giving me a gift.

Sofia was born a highly sensitive child. She needs explanations to things, wants to know why and how, letting things settle in her before she can accept them. We occasionally roll our eyes while answering all her questions - the why's and the how's don't always come at life's most convenient times, and we wish she'd just listen to music in the car instead of giving us the third degree. But, when I stop and think about it, these questions she has for me always make me think. I have to analyze what she will understand, how much to tell her, what information will suffice. But, usually, first I have to figure out if I even have an answer for her. And it means I have to think back to when I was her age, just as highly sensitive, and I am forced to find empathy. That empathy is a gift she is giving me.

The ins and outs of our daily lives are so mind-numbing, so frequently tedious and monotonous that I forget. I disregard the fact that my children weren't only 'given' to me so that I could set them on the righteous path - but that they are in my lives to teach me something, for me to receive something as well. I get so bogged down in wanting to make them become the best adults they possibly can be that I forget they are here to do that exact same thing for me.

Our children have gifts to give us. It's not easy to find the energy to even figure out what they are, amid the frustration and exhaustion. But they are there, and we can find them in the quiet. In those moments we allow ourselves - sorry, no, we force ourselves - to just be. To play dollies, to speak thoughtfully, to answer questions earnestly - for the sole purpose of simply playing, simply speaking, simply answering. Because it is in those instants that we can, if we're truly lucky, catch a glimpse of not only who our babies are becoming, but who we are.

Happy Half Birthday!

This little girl. Our second child.

This picture was taken just seconds before a humungo-sized meltdown because I said it was time for her and her leashed cat (aptly named "Gatto") to leave the park.

But look at that kid.

I use a lot of nicknames with the girls - Sofia prefers to be called Sweetie Pie, but between them there's also Peanut (Sofia), Monkey (Samina), Sammy Whammy, Fia, Babydoll (I hate this one but it keeps coming out of my mouth anyhow). And, thrown in there, I find myself using the occasional "Sunshine" when talking to Samina because, well: Look at her!

NOT that it's always rainbows and unicorns with Miss Samina. She is Sass-a-lot and Spice mixed with a tiny little possible future attorney. And my oh my can she be touchy.

Current Likes: picking out her own shoes, testing Mommy's limits, playing "Mamma & Figlia" (Mother and Daughter) with her big sister, the park, dolls, lipgloss, filling her hands and arms with as many objects as humanly possible to bring (a) to the car and (b) into bed. Loves music of all types, ice cream sandwiches, lemon in her (bubbly) water, nursing (aka "tatte"), snuggle sessions with Mommy, story time and pretending to read books to us, when the whole family is together, swimming/diving and anything messy.

Current HATES: feeling controlled (this one's not working out too well for us), getting yelled at, getting her diaper changed, transitions of any kind LORDHELPUS, being rushed, sharing toys - especially with her sister, not getting her way. When anyone is upset with her. Your basic 2-year-old stuff.

Samina is such a character - and I dare anyone to talk to her for 10 seconds and not smile. She is precociously witty and her comic timing is right on point. She has a way of bringing out the best in people - though sometimes I think it may just be because she's so bossy people are terrorized into acting correctly.

We love you Sammy Whammy Sunshine. Happy 2-and-a-half! Please don't ever change.