Things I've learned/revisited in 2020

• Relationships are cyclical.
  
  
• I'm happy being a Mom and a Wife - and I'm ok with those being my main definitions of myself -and it won't last forever.
  
  
• Not all relationships are worth salvaging.
  
  
• Boundaries are self-love.
  
  
• The higher the expectation, the harder the fall.
  
  
• Whatever form my creativity comes in is worthy and beautiful.
  
  
• Most annoyances can be solved with fresh air, exercise and/or a hug.
  
  
• Show love audaciously.
  
  
• I get mean when I'm scared.
  
  
• Laughter is the greatest unifier. 
  
  
• One of my greatest joys is seeing the people I care about move confidently through the world.
  
  
• Words matter.
  
  
• We are all inextricably tied; taking care of one another is our job and our privilege.
  
  
• Things will never turn out the way I think they will.
  
  
• "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - Maya Angelou
  
  
• It takes me a second to get my bearings, but I can be strong under pressure.
  
  
• Not everyone is going to like me. That's ok. I can still be kind and seek out their humanity.
  
  
• Feelings are for feeling.
  
  
• The only thing we can control is our response.

Sami turns 8

Dearest Samina,

Happy Coronabirthday! This birthday is admittedly a little weird - stuck in this house for weeks on end without outside contact. Not able to have that sleepover party you wanted, not able to have Mema and Pop Pop come visit, not able to see your Nonni or your Zio, not even be able to go out to dinner.

And yet, I haven't heard you complain, not even once. In fact, the only things you requested for your birthday were hot & sour soup (found it!), not having to do any homework (happy to oblige!) and your sister's full attention (not a problem - she's more excited it's your birthday than you are!). You seem more than happy to be trapped here, in your adorable pj's, playing outside in the sun with Sofia and, later, watching a Planet Earth documentary after our special sushi dinner.

Sami, you are a force of nature, and I don't think I ever will be able to express just how much I not only love you, but admire and respect you. You are simultaneously tough and delicate, sassy and sweet, funny and serious, bright and silly. You are so many things, and all of them completely yourself. As I've said so many times in the past, my greatest hope for you is that you manage to keep that superpower - the love and the faith you have in yourself. Papà, Sofia and I will be here to remind you of it, in those more difficult moments when you may find loving yourself impossible.

Your current Loves:
Obviously hot & sour soup, playing with your sister, riding your bike (YOU TAUGHT YOURSELF!!!), snuggling with me, watching TV (Hunter Street, The Thundermans, Ladybug, Ride), watching movies together after dinner (Instant Family, High School Musical, documentaries about animals but really anything at all), playing bocce and biliardino as our after-lunch ritual, swimming, eating at your favorite restaurants but also getting take-out and eating it at home in your pjs, making ceramics, sleeping in, saying or hearing curse words, dancing, making people happy, using the computer or iPad, freedom, family, good friends.

Your current Hates:
Being forced to read, when anyone yells at you, being forced to socialize when you're tired, being wrongly accused of something, too much homework, too much noise, pitch black, Trump (this one's obviously my doing), mosquitoes, cruelty of any kind.

You have brought endless joy to my life and the lives of so many, from the moment you got here. Thank you for being our sunshine and for lighting the way with your brilliant smile and your infectious laughter. We love you so much, Sami, and hope this next 8th (even though I know you hate that number -- "too perfect") year of life brings you all the happy surprises you deserve.

Love you forever,

Mommy, Papà and Sofi