My dearest Sofia,
I will never forget the very first moment I laid eyes on you...as the nurse gave me a quick peek at you on her way out of the room to clean you up and give you a check-up. My immediate first thought was: "Of course that's what she looks like."
In the nearly 10 months prior, I had visualized you so many times, though in some vague, generic way. I'd fantasized about what it would feel like to hold you and sing you songs and bring you to the park, but I'd never really been able to picture what you would physically look like. But, there we were, and I took one look at you and realized that, even if I hadn't imagined you, you were exactly as I would have imagined you if I had.
That, my sweet girl, is the very same way I feel about seeing you grow up. Your personality, your silly smile... The way you ask a million questions as soon as we get in the car, how you skip from room to room, hands on your hips, instead of walking. How you take a million years to eat dinner and how you kiss your sister's forehead when she's crying. How you wrinkle your nose up and stomp your feet on the ground when you're angry, how you have a bizarre passion for different sized and shaped pieces of paper. The way you pretend to play the piano while you're falling asleep, the way you continuously sound out words wherever we are, reading whatever sign may be in front of us. How you float back and forth between your two languages, not always smoothly but definitely naturally. How you sweat while you're asleep as if you were running a marathon. How you still can't sit through movies, or even most TV shows, because something about them disturbs you. The way you say sorry when I hurt myself, even if you have nothing to do with it. The unsolicited hugs you have in abundance for all the loves in your life, and there are so many of them, my affectionate little girl.
And as I witness all of these tiny little Sofia details, I can't help but call to mind that exact same phrase I thought when we first met: "Of course that's what she looks like." Everything about you feels just as it should be.
We had a bit of a hard time in the beginning, me and you. Being a first-time mom is rough business, but so is being the first child. But the older you get, the more I see you unfold, the more I enjoy you. Each day brings a new discovery, for you and for me. Thank you for letting me in, for encouraging me to be part of the ride.
Happy 6th (6th!!!????) birthday, Peanut. I love you more than I ever expected I could. May you always continue to be such a perfect version of yourself.
In awe and with love, always,
Mommy
