School daze

We did it. We got through the first day of preschool. And by "we" I, of course, mean "me." Mommy got through the first day of preschool.

Though, not without a heavy heart -- which was unexpected, being as I've been waiting for school to start for, oh, about 2 months now. And, the more I thought about why I had a heavy heart, the more I realized it wasn't because of the classic "my baby is growing up" syndrome, but because I know. I know that the road lying ahead of her - as much as it will also be filled with new friends and experiences and sights and sounds - will be filled with self-doubt and apprehension, disappointment and anxiety. And seeing her standing amid those other little 3-to-5 year olds in her required pink-checked smock, she just looked so...small. So vulnerable.

Andrea and I stayed for about 15 minutes with her. Then, when we saw other parents were leaving and saw that Sofia had warmed up slightly to one of her teachers, we explained to her that we were leaving and that we would be back in a couple hours to pick her up. She wasn't happy, but she took her teacher's hand and turned toward the other kids. Turned toward her new world.

And then, I cried as we walked home. Of course.

When we went to pick her up, her teacher said she had cried at first (later, Sofia told me she was crying and calling out for me but I didn't come...way to break my heart, kid), but then she did great. We only left her for 2 hours; tomorrow we'll leave her a little longer and progressively longer on Friday, then starting Monday we'll hopefully be in full gear.

She didn't feel like talking about school when we picked her up, but then she did tell us that a little girl named Camilla came to talk to her. They had pizza for a snack and her teachers' names are Chiara and Monia. And, finally, she declared off-hand that she didn't want to go to school for too much time tomorrow....I guess that's better than her saying she didn't want to go at all?