What we can do

This week feels particularly grim. It's hard to see past the executive orders, the cabinet appointments, the painful "press conferences", the media blackout. As it is most likely intended to do, it brings a mist of hopelessness over what was already a trying time, and it is most certainly going to get worse before it gets better. But I do believe it *will* get better. As long as we fight the desire to just unplug it all and run and hide. We can do that too - we MUST do that too, to keep us sane and motivated - but we also need to have a plan of action.

We need to keep ourselves politically active, first and foremost. For some thoughts regarding that, you can see (among many others): www.womensmarch.com/100/ and https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/. But many of us are feeling like that's not enough. And so I've been brainstorming about other things that can be done, beyond the realm of politics and policy. Small-seeming gestures that can change lives in tangible ways, and I would like to share them with you and invite you to join me in any of the ones that feel pertinent to you:

1. If you have any kids in your life, read them stories with feminist heroes ("I Dissent: Ruth Bader Ginsburg Makes Her Mark," "Rosie Revere, Engineer," "Grace for President," "Malala Yousafzai: Warrior with Words," to name just a few), or any books that can start discussions on issues that are important to you.

2. Stop and talk to a stranger today. Anyone. A homeless person, a granny at the supermarket, your grocery delivery kid. Make eye contact. Offer them coffee. Share a laugh.

3. Volunteer: at your local library or soup kitchen, nursing home, your kid's school.

4. Pay it forward: pay for someone's coffee or Target purchase or groceries.

5. Donate. Clean out some closets and bring them to your nearest Goodwill, synagogue or neighbor in need.

6. Cook a meal for friends. Even better if they are new parents or have a large family, etc., but even just for your neighbor. Just because.

7. Make new friends. That woman you always run into and chat with at your kid's baseball game? Ask her if she wants to go out for a drink sometime (and then actually go!).

8. Make art. Take your angst and make it into a painting, a poem, a story, a collage, a photograph. Then share it on social media to inspire someone else.

9. Make a concerted effort to help. Give up your seat on the bus, help an elderly person carry his shopping bags, give someone your parking spot, wash your friend's dishes while she's in the other room, shovel your neighbor's driveway. 

10. Take a long walk outside every once in a while. Let yourself feel however you are feeling and make a plan of action while you're sweating out your worries.

11. Go to town/local government meetings. Even if they're about things you know nothing about or couldn't care less about. Be present. Take notes and follow up.

12. Put a little something in the tip jar. At the bar, at the coffee shop, at the coat check.

13. Buy things from local shops, donate money to an artist, offer to work the front of house at a local theater, support the local arts by going to their performances and inviting friends to join you.

14. Subscribe (I mean with money, not just free online) to a trusted news outlet.

15. Talk to any friends who may not have voted in the last election and help them register to vote/help them find out about when your next local elections are and get involved with them.

16. Perhaps the most important of all: go rogue. Force yourself not to accept authority on instinct, but really think critically about what you are being told to do/reading/hearing/what is being asked of you. Get support from ally friends if fighting the standard means you may be affected negatively (and you will). Fight the good fight, starting with your own mind.

I could go on and on. I truly believe that the way we carry ourselves in our daily lives is of the utmost importance. As the saying goes: "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

I would love for anyone and everyone to contribute their own too, so please, please share any others you may think of! And THANK YOU.

Let's roll up our sleeves, friends!

They were marching for you, too.

Have you ever looked for an empty seat on a bus or in a college lecture or at the movie theater next to a woman, instead of a man, to avoid being bothered?

Have you ever pretended to listen to music on your headphones so men would leave you alone?

Have you ever been totally giddy at the idea of joining a women’s-only gym?

Have you ever walked into a car dealership to have their first question be “So, what color would you like?”

Have you ever had a story to tell every.single.day about being (often vulgarly) cat-called as you walk to work?

Have you ever had a friend wait for you to safely get inside your house before they drove off?

Have you ever been told you should smile more/asked why you are always so angry?

Have you ever been told you are a crybaby, a bitch, an idiot because what on earth could you have to complain about?

Have you ever purposely not made eye contact with a man so he wouldn’t get the wrong idea?

Have you ever felt uneasy around a man, but couldn’t put your finger on why?

Have you ever “spotted” a friend at a bar to make sure the guy harassing her would just leave?

Have you ever tried to make yourself "a guy's girl" to be cooler?

Have you ever changed your outfit 10 times before a job interview because you didn’t want to give off the “wrong vibe”?

Have you ever had to water down your views or opinions to avoid being seen as a "bitch"?

Well then, those women were marching for you, too, whether you wanted them to or not.