Why I keep feeling gobsmacked

UPDATE: Many a concerned email has made its way to me since I posted this. While unfortunately the below still rings true, it was just a vent. A vent that worked, since as soon as I put it out in cyberspace, I was instantly renewed! So, no worries all, but thanks for caring.


I came to this realization today: I am not equipped with the right tools to deal with Italian culture. I don't speak their language, quite literally.

What do I mean? Ponder these:

Exhibit 1. The translation company who so certainly assured me I'd be working for them full-time has been yanking me around. They don't contact me for weeks, and then suddenly send me the last translation back marked with trillions of very stupid corrections (i.e. "as well as" instead of "and). Andrea tells me that this tactic is almost definitely a very studied one, to keep me on my toes so they can use me when they like but keep an excuse not to take me on full-time.

Exhibit 2. I finally realized that our magazine editor where I work - who loves to rip into our interns for their writing skills, or into me for the few articles I write - doesn't know how to spell, or write for that matter. She dictates emails for other people to write and hands off jobs as if they were hot potatoes. So it was like a bolt of lightning when I realized that she's been covering up that she didn't get this job on merit.

Exhibit 3. I went back to work after lunch today because I was supposed to have a meeting, but my co-worker ended up not coming because he was running late. When he told me this, he was speaking very close to the phone and most of what he said was jumbled. I realized, after I hung up the phone, that in my confusion at trying to put what he was saying together, I didn't properly express just how annoyed I was that he'd stood me up. And on the way home, I realized (taking into consideration all the learning I've been piecing together about the Italian psyche) that he mumbled into the phone on purpose, for the very purpose of distracting me.

Sound like too intricate of a conniving plan? Too deceptive or evil-handed? Well, welcome to my world. People think that way, especially in the business world. They seem to have that cunning in their Italian DNA.

Problem with all this is that I live and work here, and I am not prepared to change my own way of thinking to fit into their game. I refuse to lower myself to that, but it means that - time and time ago - I am going to have to deal with being left behind and screwed over. It means that I have to learn to deal with hanging up the telephone and then, 2 minutes later, realizing with my delayed American reaction that someone just pulled the blindfold over my eyes.

Oh, and in case you were wondering: yes, I'm having a bad week.