Life Lessons

This past weekend, my mom organized a surprise birthday party for my dad...even though it was her birthday!

As part of the festivities - which we, unfortunately, couldn't attend - I made up my TOP TEN LIFE LESSONS I'VE LEARNED from my FATHER and MOTHER, which my sister-in-law very kindly presented for me at the party...

The Top 10 Life Lessons I’ve learned from my father:

1. Nothing is sacred and it’s never too soon to joke about it.

2. Pain is good because it means Happiness is right around the corner. Unfortunately, that also means that Happiness is bad because it means Pain is right around the corner.

3. Never trust weathermen, religious fanatics, doctors or Republicans.

4. It’s always better to spend the money on a tutor than to have a family member teach you how to either do math or drive.

5. Thursday is diner pea soup day.

6. Just like the old adage goes, “Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life.”

7. It makes more sense to circle around the same block 147 times than to stop and ask someone where the hell you’re going.

8. Go with the decision that will make the best story.

9. In life, it’s important to find a reliable mechanic, a current Zagat’s, someone else to change your light bulbs and a life partner who will pick out all your clothes for you.

10. Do your best every day, then go home.

The Top 10 Life Lessons I’ve learned from my mother:

1. The true job of a parent is to teach their children to be independent.

2. The latter doesn’t however necessarily include financial independence.

3. The best way to organize an all-day outing is to first decide where you’re going to eat your three meals and then work around them.

4. If I walk into a car dealership and the first question they ask me is “What color would you like?” I have permission to give them hell.

5. Worldly possessions are not worth anything at all if you can’t share them with the people you love.

6. There’s nothing a little dessert and a spa day can’t cure. Shopping has been known to be a solution as well.

7. Girls can do anything boys can do…better. Or at least that’s what the t-shirt said that she gave me when I was 8.

8. You can’t spoil children with love. Toys, however, are another story, but whatever.

9. Guilt is a powerful tool, use it as much to your advantage as humanly possible.

10. Don’t be afraid to go for it…mom and dad have your back.