It's 3:48pm. Crucial moment here in the household, because it means that in all of 12 minutes I will be going to pick up my Peanut.
Positives: I GET TO SEE PEANUT! I've missed her all day and can't wait for that smile I (sometimes) get when I walk through the daycare door.
Negatives: After said (possible) smile, I will then spend the subsequent 28 minutes convincing her to (a) leave daycare, (b) sit in her car seat (this is the worst one, and lately involves punishment of some sort) and (c) not to pull my hair.
Do the positives outweigh the negatives? Well, that wholly depends on what time you ask me. You see, the lovely thing about parenthood, spanning from the actual birthing to anything from meltdowns to missed curfews to screaming matches, is that, hours later, it is already physically impossible to sensorially remember just how much your kid pissed you off.
So, right now, seeing as I haven't seen my Peanut since 8:45 this morning when she insisted on turning on my car radio in the driveway before I left for work, I can say: no brainer, positives are definitely outweighing the negatives, can't wait to see her.
On the other hand, if you ask me in a half-hour, amid the hair-pulling-not-doing-the-carseat-thing drama, my answer will be of quite a different sort: ADOPT HER!!!!!
Happy Belated Mommy's Day, co-Mommies!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Decisions, decisions
Being a mom has made me less afraid of things I was afraid of before, and more afraid of things I was never afraid of.
Life has been somewhat tumultuous these past few weeks (work stuff) and, going through it, I realized that my way of handling it all has changed so much since Sofia's come to be. While big decisions are hard to make regardless, the heart of what's at them is now different. No longer thinking solely of what benefits me or even what is best for Andrea, but really focusing - happily focusing - on what it all means to little Sofia. How it will affect her life, how my decisions will come to touch her future self, if at all.
I suppose this is all pretty common knowledge (especially to parents more seasoned than I). And, of course, this is not at all to say that I've become selfless or do anything only based on Sofia. No, no, the self-centered me would never be party to that sort of silliness. I just feel more...balanced? Responsible? Protective?. All of the above I guess. All of the above, and a touch of Wanting to Make 'Er Proud.
Life has been somewhat tumultuous these past few weeks (work stuff) and, going through it, I realized that my way of handling it all has changed so much since Sofia's come to be. While big decisions are hard to make regardless, the heart of what's at them is now different. No longer thinking solely of what benefits me or even what is best for Andrea, but really focusing - happily focusing - on what it all means to little Sofia. How it will affect her life, how my decisions will come to touch her future self, if at all.
I suppose this is all pretty common knowledge (especially to parents more seasoned than I). And, of course, this is not at all to say that I've become selfless or do anything only based on Sofia. No, no, the self-centered me would never be party to that sort of silliness. I just feel more...balanced? Responsible? Protective?. All of the above I guess. All of the above, and a touch of Wanting to Make 'Er Proud.
Monday, May 2, 2011
What Allergy Season Means to Me
It's that time of the year again, folks! The one where I am the worst possible person I can be: simultaneously sneezy, fidgety, frustrated, snippy and totally out of it thanks to the antihistamines. You just gotta love me from May 1st (precisely) to end-of-June.
The annoying thing is, I really love Springtime so so much. I love the whole flower blooming and animal mating and such. The rejuvenation of it all. Who doesn't appreciate the poetic sunshine after a long, dark winter? Hitler, that's who. Oh, and me, at 3 o'clock in the morning when my throat is so scratchy it feels like I swallowed a vial of poison ivy. Thanks, Nature.
My new doc put me on new meds this year, we'll see how it works out for me. Right now, I'm on Day 2 (perhaps I should've started earlier...say, December?) and my nose is as red and eyes as puffy as ever. It took me 13 minutes just to get all the crud off my eyelids this morning when I woke up. (Enjoy your lunch!)
One day they will find a cure for seasonal allergies (if he weren't dead, I'd be calling Jerry Lewis right now - wait, he's dead, right?). Until then, I just have to suck it up. And wonder what the hell possessed me to move to Umbria, "the green heart of Italy."
ACHOO!
The annoying thing is, I really love Springtime so so much. I love the whole flower blooming and animal mating and such. The rejuvenation of it all. Who doesn't appreciate the poetic sunshine after a long, dark winter? Hitler, that's who. Oh, and me, at 3 o'clock in the morning when my throat is so scratchy it feels like I swallowed a vial of poison ivy. Thanks, Nature.
My new doc put me on new meds this year, we'll see how it works out for me. Right now, I'm on Day 2 (perhaps I should've started earlier...say, December?) and my nose is as red and eyes as puffy as ever. It took me 13 minutes just to get all the crud off my eyelids this morning when I woke up. (Enjoy your lunch!)
One day they will find a cure for seasonal allergies (if he weren't dead, I'd be calling Jerry Lewis right now - wait, he's dead, right?). Until then, I just have to suck it up. And wonder what the hell possessed me to move to Umbria, "the green heart of Italy."
ACHOO!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Things I Want Sofia to Know
Life is full of pitfalls. Do your best to land on your feet and then keep walking.
You will not want anything to do with me during your teenage years. This is OK and totally normal, don't beat yourself up about it. Just make sure you continue brushing your teeth and don't do anything stupid while you're taking a break from me.
Don't spend too much time in front of the tv (or, erm, the computer). Every once in a while, take a break and go for a long walk outside.
Whatever your chosen career path may be, never ever ever let anyone take advantage of you. Right or wrong, the world sees you as what you sell yourself as.
Don't be afraid to speak your mind, but don't aim to hurt anyone's feelings. Be diplomatic.
There are always two sides, if not more, to every story.
Never trust a partner who has cheated on another partner to be with you.
Avoid food shopping on Friday evenings, unless you love angry crowds.
Go with what you think fits you best, even if the person you're going against is me.
Complain if you have to, but don't let the complaining go on too long. If you are systematically waking up unhappy, change is required.
Never go home with someone you just met at a bar.
Practice using your instincts, and learn to trust them.
Don't be mad at me when you figure out I'm not perfect.
Someone will always love you.
Take notes. There won't be an exam at the end, but you'll find pleasure and comfort in looking your diaries over one day (and don't write in code because you'll never remember).
You don't have to get married. You just have to be happy and feel appreciated.
Relationships of any kind are hard work. If you truly care for someone, work on letting them know it.
Try to always look people in the eye when they're talking to you.
Say Please and Thank You and smile as much as possible, even if you don't feel like it. (Edited many years later to say: this is actually wrong. Don't feel like you have to smile just because...being genuine is more important, so only smile if smiling feels right!)
Ask questions. Ask for help. Be humble.
Don't underestimate the power of a joke.
Remember where you came from, never lose sight of where you're going- even if the target changes daily (that's ok too!).
If you ever have a child one day, make sure you're ready for the responsibility first. I don't want to have to be there every day to babysit! (kidding! sorta...)
You have been blessed with the knowledge of 2 languages, don't give either of them up, ever.
Read lots of books and learn to cook.
Be careful, but don't lose yourself in paranoia.
Sometimes you're going to feel like throwing in the towel. Don't. Whatever it is will pass - if not today, soon.
Sometimes you have to withstand something painful for the good of the long-term.
Make sure you're doing things for the right reasons, and learn to say no when you really just can't.
Appreciate what you have been blessed with.
Whatever religion you choose is fine, even if it's none. Be spiritual though.
Mommy and Papa' love you and will always be here for you. Even if you rob a bank or something stupid.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
A Good Day
It's been such a nice day so far today. Breakfast out just the three of us, then the swimming pool, then lunch at the nonni and now nap time. Papa' is off playing a soccer game, but when he gets home, it'll be bath time and then dinner out at our favorite local place. In the meantime, soon as Peanut wakes up, I plan on snuggling her up since it's pretty chilly outside today.
Not a bad Saturday. Hope yours is comfy too!
Not a bad Saturday. Hope yours is comfy too!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
The Dark Side
I love how people always look at me like "Oh no! WhatEVER could be wrong with her?" whenever they witness Sofia in a tantrum (and by "love" I mean it really freaking steams my windows).
Here is the fact: my daughter has a tendency to be one of those toddlers. Yup. Those. The kind that makes you walk out of a restaurant and smugly whisper "Our child will never be that way!" to your significant other. It's fine, go ahead and whisper. I wouldn't want to be in my shoes mid-tantrum either. Her acting out make me cringe, too. And I most certainly thought I would have it all under control when it was my turn, too.
Wrong. Wrong, and wrong (am I forgetting something? oh yeah!: WRONG). Sofia is a champion, a genius, a beauty, a clown and the kindest little Peanut this side of the Milky Way. But she can also be a royal pain in the a$$ ('s' with dollar signs because you can bet your bottom dollar on it).
This past week, the hair pulling started. Before that, it was the clichèd throwing-self-on-floor-kicking-and-screaming-at-random-times-of-day (diaper changes, getting dressed, any time the word "no" was pronounced) Even before that, it was the deliberate touching of the outlets. In uterus, it was the refusing to stay still for the sonogram (that one was extremely hard to discipline).
I don't even know what to do, to be honest - which is why the "WhatEVER could be wrong with her?" looks really get my goat. I mean, WTF? YES, she is a TODDLER, she throws TANTRUMS. Why the worried look? She's fine, *I'm* the unstable one right now! And how on earth am *I* supposed to know how to deal with this? I am, after all, only 16! (Wait, what, I'm not? Oh, c'mon!!!!) Time Outs are laughable (no, I mean, she literally laughs in my face). Yelling at her gets her just the attention she wants. Distracting her does work, but it takes a whole lot of constant effort and creativity. Ignoring her seems to be the best method right now...and that is so not how I saw myself mothering my child.
Anyhoo.
So, take this as a warning:
(1) If you don't have children yet, know that you've heard the phrase "terrible twos" kicked around a lot, but you have no actual idea of what it means, so beware,
and
(2) If you happen to be around while my daughter is trying to kill me because I tried to put shoes on her, please do not look at her with those pitying eyes and ask me if she's hungry. She's not - she's just almost 2.
Here is the fact: my daughter has a tendency to be one of those toddlers. Yup. Those. The kind that makes you walk out of a restaurant and smugly whisper "Our child will never be that way!" to your significant other. It's fine, go ahead and whisper. I wouldn't want to be in my shoes mid-tantrum either. Her acting out make me cringe, too. And I most certainly thought I would have it all under control when it was my turn, too.
Wrong. Wrong, and wrong (am I forgetting something? oh yeah!: WRONG). Sofia is a champion, a genius, a beauty, a clown and the kindest little Peanut this side of the Milky Way. But she can also be a royal pain in the a$$ ('s' with dollar signs because you can bet your bottom dollar on it).
This past week, the hair pulling started. Before that, it was the clichèd throwing-self-on-floor-kicking-and-screaming-at-random-times-of-day (diaper changes, getting dressed, any time the word "no" was pronounced) Even before that, it was the deliberate touching of the outlets. In uterus, it was the refusing to stay still for the sonogram (that one was extremely hard to discipline).
I don't even know what to do, to be honest - which is why the "WhatEVER could be wrong with her?" looks really get my goat. I mean, WTF? YES, she is a TODDLER, she throws TANTRUMS. Why the worried look? She's fine, *I'm* the unstable one right now! And how on earth am *I* supposed to know how to deal with this? I am, after all, only 16! (Wait, what, I'm not? Oh, c'mon!!!!) Time Outs are laughable (no, I mean, she literally laughs in my face). Yelling at her gets her just the attention she wants. Distracting her does work, but it takes a whole lot of constant effort and creativity. Ignoring her seems to be the best method right now...and that is so not how I saw myself mothering my child.
Anyhoo.
So, take this as a warning:
(1) If you don't have children yet, know that you've heard the phrase "terrible twos" kicked around a lot, but you have no actual idea of what it means, so beware,
and
(2) If you happen to be around while my daughter is trying to kill me because I tried to put shoes on her, please do not look at her with those pitying eyes and ask me if she's hungry. She's not - she's just almost 2.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Playing favorites
I'm going to talk about something that's not all that fun for me to talk about: Sofia's playing favorites. Namely, her choosing her Papa' over me 9 times out of 10. Scratch that, make it 9.5 times out of 10.
I've racked my brain endlessly about why this might be. Is it because we got off to such a rocky start? Is it because mainly Andrea bottle fed her? Is it because I wasn't able to breastfeed her? Is it simply because she's a Daddy's girl? Is it because we send her to daycare? Is it because I'm the only one speaking to her in English? Is it the way I wear my hair or the tone of my voice or because I made her chicken for dinner when she wanted pasta?????
Whatever the reason be, it's something I've been dealing with for quite a while now. Though there are those fantastic (heavenly) days when both Mommy and Papa' are cool, most of the time Papa' can't leave a room without her screaming (you tell me how good it feels to have someone scream bloody murder because they have to be alone in a room with you for 3 minutes).
And then, yesterday, I got a little more insight. We took her to a birthday party for one of her daycare friends and, lo and behold, I saw a different side to Sofia: the side that is all but identical to moi, yours truly. I'd always just assumed Sofia was sociable and outgoing like her father, but yesterday we realized just how much of an Observer she is, too. She took a while to warm up and, many times, preferred to do her own thing, playing outside with a stroller while the other kids ate cookies and screamed (mainly screamed - sorry, head). She was perfectly content to munch on her piece of pizza, give a quick boogie to the music and then run to the bathroom alone to turn the faucets on and off.
So the question came to me: could one reason for her distance from me be because of how much we are alike deep-down? Could she be searching out her Papa' for the same reasons I do?: security and a calming presence who will protect her as she observes from afar, at least at first?
Could be. Also, could be that she just isn't that into me, but considering I'm her MOM and all, I'm going to go with Option A. And hope and pray that, as she grows up, she will learn that I can teach her a thing or two about how to run into the bathroom and turn the faucets on and off without seeming like a total freak.
I've racked my brain endlessly about why this might be. Is it because we got off to such a rocky start? Is it because mainly Andrea bottle fed her? Is it because I wasn't able to breastfeed her? Is it simply because she's a Daddy's girl? Is it because we send her to daycare? Is it because I'm the only one speaking to her in English? Is it the way I wear my hair or the tone of my voice or because I made her chicken for dinner when she wanted pasta?????
Whatever the reason be, it's something I've been dealing with for quite a while now. Though there are those fantastic (heavenly) days when both Mommy and Papa' are cool, most of the time Papa' can't leave a room without her screaming (you tell me how good it feels to have someone scream bloody murder because they have to be alone in a room with you for 3 minutes).
And then, yesterday, I got a little more insight. We took her to a birthday party for one of her daycare friends and, lo and behold, I saw a different side to Sofia: the side that is all but identical to moi, yours truly. I'd always just assumed Sofia was sociable and outgoing like her father, but yesterday we realized just how much of an Observer she is, too. She took a while to warm up and, many times, preferred to do her own thing, playing outside with a stroller while the other kids ate cookies and screamed (mainly screamed - sorry, head). She was perfectly content to munch on her piece of pizza, give a quick boogie to the music and then run to the bathroom alone to turn the faucets on and off.
So the question came to me: could one reason for her distance from me be because of how much we are alike deep-down? Could she be searching out her Papa' for the same reasons I do?: security and a calming presence who will protect her as she observes from afar, at least at first?
Could be. Also, could be that she just isn't that into me, but considering I'm her MOM and all, I'm going to go with Option A. And hope and pray that, as she grows up, she will learn that I can teach her a thing or two about how to run into the bathroom and turn the faucets on and off without seeming like a total freak.
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